My Dear One,

I’ve been lately considering life advice.  Not the kind of advice borne of thoughtful listening and consideration; tailor-made advice given to water a soul.  This advice is a shining jewel; a treasure which can be revisited again and again.  I’m speaking of the one-size-fits-all, drive-through window type of advice.  The clichéd expressions which so easily roll off the tongue of even well-meaning individuals.  The worn out and tired phrases which have been memed to death.  Pictures of beautiful sunrises and sunsets, with the happy meal phrases slapped across the background beauty.  Rainbows and sunshine blasphemed with trite letters, joined together to form inconsequential words.

I am as exhausted as all those banal expressions.  They have worn me down.

It’s not that the words themselves are so terrible.  It’s the lack of thought behind it that is worse.

Let’s explore one such phrase today.  We’ve all heard it.

Do it for yourself.

If I had a dollar for all the times those words have penetrated my ears, I would have enough currency to buy myself a one-way ticket out of this artificial standardized self-help land.  It’s not that I have a problem with the expression itself; the words themselves sound good.  People who advise me in such a way mean well.  As much as I cringe upon hearing it, these same four words inspire countless others, encouraging them to get out there and just do it.

There’s only one problem with it.

It doesn’t work for me.

There is no joy in do it for yourself  for me.  I am a creature made for the words – who finds delirious joy in the words …

Do it for others.

Oh, but you gasp, how terrible this is.  Why do you possess such toxic thoughts?  Don’t think such a thing … you are worth it … you deserve it.  How could you possibly utter such nonsense?  How could you not desire to do it for yourself?

Are you wondering this yourself, my dear one?  Or do you perhaps see yourself in my words?

We are not all made the same.  We are all born with different desires, goals, and dreams.  We would all agree to this, would we not?  This is something we all can believe.  So why do we not live what we believe?  Why do we say we are not all made the same, and yet treat every human soul like we are?

I create for others.  I make things to bring joy to others.  I produce words and music and art in order to ultimately generate in another a smile, or even a tear.  I live for those emotions brought to life in others through my creations.  But I have come to understand that some create for themselves.  Some make things to bring joy to themselves.  Some produce words and music and art in order so they can smile, or shed a tear.  They live for those emotions brought to life internally through their creations.

They are both absolutely beautiful.  Two human beings, both wanting to create something of value … going about it in two very different ways … but for the same ultimate reason.

Understanding of the self.

We are all more alike than we know.  We all want to be understood, and to understand ourselves.  Love is a great place to begin.  Love starts with seeing the person.  Love starts with listening.  Love starts with understanding.  Do not be too hasty to write a prescription until you’ve properly diagnosed the problem.  Until you’ve properly understood the person.

My dear one, the next time you say do it for yourself, I hope you have chosen your words carefully.  I hope you have examined the soul of the one standing before you to whom you are declaring those words.  For some, those words are a lifeline.

For others, they are the most hollow words in the world.

All my love,

Your Never Sleeping Beauty

P.S.  Did you enjoy the photographs?  I did not take them for myself; I took them for you.

Now I shall be of some use in the world, as everyone ought to be; it is the only way to be happy.  ~The Flax, Hans Christian Andersen